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Her name’s somethin’ like Candy – yeah, real original, right? But she’s got this thing, this *look*, like she’s darin’ ya to judge her. Reminds me of that line, “I got a mind fulla maggots,” ‘cept hers is fulla hustle. She’s out there rain or shine, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ bank – little known fact, she once clocked a guy with a stiletto heel, left him cryin’ in the gutter. Fuckin’ savage, I love it. Got me all riled up, like, *this broad’s a warrior*!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I’m sprinting down Rue de la République, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I duck into this little shop, and it’s packed with all these quirky souvenirs. I find this ridiculous salt shaker shaped like a cow. I can’t resist. I buy it, thinking it’ll be a great conversation starter. Spoiler: it’s not.

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