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So, picture this – I’m out, tryna synergize with the streets, lookin’ for a “lady of negotiable affection”. Not your usual 9-to-5! I’m buzzin’, cos I’m a people person, right? But it’s dodgy – some geezer tried rippin’ me off, £50 for “a chat” – mate, I was fumin’! “I’ve got karma like a buffalo,” I told him, quotin’ Boonmee, and legged it. Cheeky sod.

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And let me tell you, the numbers were a mess. I mean, who knew budgeting could be so dramatic? I’m explaining how to save for retirement, and they’re just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian. I’m trying to keep it light, cracking jokes about how they’ll be living in a cardboard box if they don’t save. They laugh, but I’m not sure if it’s out of humor or panic.

A simple brick wall changes the nature of a banal place