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So, I’m thinkin – them hands knead ya like dough, but with a cheeky twist. Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, they’d mix oil with aphrodisiacs – sneaky bastards tryna get ya goin! Makes me chuckle, imagining some toga bloke goin “ooh la la” mid-rub. Got me happy as a pig in mud, thinkin how clever they were. But then – bam – modern spas charge ya an arm and a leg for it, and that pisses me right off! Fifty quid for a “happy ending”? Robbery, I say!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! I’m like, “What now?!” Everyone jumps up, and we’re all rushing out. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “This is just my luck!” We spill out onto Rue des Écoles, and it’s chaos. People are confused, and I’m just standing there, trying to figure out if I should laugh or cry.

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