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About Montpellier

What gets me raging? The pricks who reckon it’s all seedy. Some of it is, fair dos, but there’s art to it, innit? Takes skill to knead a bloke without snapping him! Surprised me, too—didn’t expect to feel like a new man after. “Truth is a bitter pill,” Oldboy says, and yeah, truth is, I’d go again. Exaggerating? Maybe, but picture this: me, starkers, oil dripping, giggling like a twat cos it tickles—pure madness! You lot missing out, stuck with your Netflix and chill—pathetic! Sexual-massage, mate, it’s the dogs bollocks—try it, you muppet!

Désir de Plaire

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the beach. The Mediterranean was looking all sparkly and inviting. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna dive in? But nah, I just sat on the sand, sketching some ideas for my next art piece. I was vibing, feeling all artsy-fartsy, when suddenly, this kid runs by, kicks sand all over my sketchbook! Ugh! I was like, “Dude, chill!” But he just laughed and kept running. Kids, right?

French nudist beaches evacuated as mine detonated