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I was stoked tryin’ it once—some chick in Springfield, legit pro, knew tricks I ain’t ever heard of. Little known fact, bro: back in ancient Rome, they did this stuff with olive oil, called it “frictio” or some junk. Freaky, right? Got me thinkin’, “Whoa, history’s kinky!” Made me happy as hell—tension gone, muscles loose, like I could skate all day. But dude, some places charge crazy cash—pissed me off! Fifty bucks for a rubdown? Eat my shorts, greedy jerks!

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First off, I hit up Rue de la République for my morning coffee. Gotta have that caffeine fix, ya know? The barista, this dude named Pierre, he’s always cracking jokes. Today, he says, “You look like you need a double shot of espresso!” I’m like, “Bro, I need a triple!” Haha, classic Pierre.

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