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So, like, findin’ a prossie ain’t hard if ya know where to look. Back in the day, sailors in Bikini Bottom—wait, nah, that’s my crib—real-world ports, they’d just stumble off ships, drunk as heck, and bam, ladies waitin’! Little fact for ya: in old France, they called ‘em “filles de joie”—joy girls, heh, fancy! Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. I’d be all, “Hiya, joy girl, got any krabby patties?”

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So, I’m trying to piece this together, and suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Where are you?” he asks. I’m like, “Dude, I’m solving a mystery here!” But he’s not having it. “Get back to the office!” Ugh, fine.

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