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So, check it—sex escorts, they ain’t just some side hustle, nah. These chicks (and dudes, fo’ real) got stories, man. I heard this one tale, swear it’s true, ‘bout this escort in Vegas, right? She’d roll up to clients with a pet snake—called it “Lil’ Szpilman,” no cap! Said it kept the weirdos in check. Freaky, huh? Made me laugh my ass off, like, “Damn, that’s gangsta!” Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, some escorts in LA used to trade mixtapes with clients. Music and ass, best combo, fo’ shizzle.

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After the race, I head to a café on Rue de la Paix. I need a drink. I order a café au lait, and the barista, she’s cute. I’m tryin’ to play it cool, but I’m all jittery from the race. She laughs at my awkwardness. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a mess in front of her.”

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