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I’d prolly suck at this. Too loud, too clumsy. “Who’s there?” some chick’d yell. Me: “Uh, just Homer… lookin’ for… justice?” Pfft, yeah right! I’d trip over a trash can, wake the whole street. Once, I saw this guy – true story – tryna haggle with a hooker. She’s like, “No discount, fatso!” Made me laugh so hard I cried. Happy tears, man! But then I got mad – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Why can’t it be easy like buyin’ a beer?

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First off, I hit the streets of Rue de la République. It’s like the main drag, ya know? I’m just chillin’, minding my own biz, when I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s like a turtle on a mission. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, man, you can do it!” But nah, he’s takin’ his sweet time. I almost yelled, “Hurry up, grandpa!” but I held back. Gotta keep it classy, right?

Michelin bestows rare third star on 'champagne chef' Lallement