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About Montpellier

Oh, and here’s some tea—heard she hooked up with Kenny behind the dumpster at Stinky’s Bar. Kenny! That poor bastard dies every week, and now he’s tappin’ that? Disgustin’! Makes me wanna puke, but also—respect, I guess? No, screw that, she’s a menace! Like in Uncle Boonmee, “The jungle hums with secrets,” yeah, her secrets are VD and bad decisions, hummin’ all over town!

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Then I stroll down to the Place de la Mairie. It’s buzzing, like always. Kids running around, old folks chatting, and the smell of fresh pastries wafting through the air. I’m thinking, “Life’s good.” But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Seriously? I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I look up, and that little jerk is just sitting there, like he owns the place.

The story of the Tour de France: the mythical Alpine cols