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But ugh, what pisses me off? Creeps who think it’s a quick fuck—nah, man, it’s art! Takes skill, patience—ain’t no fast food drive-thru. I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it—candles, some dope music, hands kneadin’ like dough, and bam, you’re floatin’. Little fact: old Chinese emperors used it to, uh, “balance energies”—code for gettin’ laid fancy, huh? Hilarious, right? Bet they had happy endings with extra soy sauce.

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Then, we hear this commotion. A crowd’s gathered near the fountain. Turns out, some dude’s doing backflips. I’m like, “What is this, the Olympics?” He lands it perfectly, and everyone goes wild. I’m clapping like a maniac.

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