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Oh, and get this—escorts got sass. They’ll nip at divers’ fins if ya get too close. Had a mate, Dave, swore one chased him off a reef. “Fuckin’ psycho fish!” he says. Laughed my arse off—imagined it yellin’, “This is my fuckin’ boat!” Straight outta Scorsese.

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Neighborhood-wise, Le Pontet is a must-see. There’s a quirky street art vibe plus local shops full of character. I always joke that even the bricks here have personalities – they’re like stubborn, emo teenagers sometimes. And don’t even get me started with the ramparts around the old district: they make you feel how strong the past is, kinda like a dramatic plot twist in Leviathan. I mean, life isn’t fair, man, but it sure is epic.

How the Monster of Avignon's abuse of Gisele Pelicot and his daughter has driven a wedge between the two women