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Yo, Mr. T here, check it! Erotic-massage, man, it’s wild stuff. Third-person boasts, “I pity the fool!” who don’t get it. Ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s deeper. Got history, too—ancient Rome, they was freaky. Them senators loved a steamy rubdown. Fact: some say Cleopatra invented it. Used oils, spices, real slick moves. Mr. T digs that, smooth like “The Headless Woman.” That flick—Verónica, she’s lost, dazed, y’know? Erotic-massage got that vibe, confusin’, sexy.

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Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches one right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, who knew seagulls had such guts? I’m pretty sure I yelled something like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But the bird just looked at me like, “What’s your point?”

ESG Reporting: the devil is in the details