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But crikey, the prices! Fifty quid for a “quickie”? I’m like, “Mate, I jump outta planes for less thrill!” *mimes parachutin’, lands on bum* Total rip-off, got me fumin’—could buy a fancy hat instead, y’know? Still, was curious—did ya know prossies in Amsterdam got unions? Proper legit, fightin’ for rights, blows me mind! This one lass, tho, she was chill, no airs, just “Take me as I am,” like Carol says. Loved that, made me grin like a daft git.

Ugly truth of sex trade in ‘City Beautiful’: Chandigarh’s dark underbelly

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I start checking the soil, and it’s dry as a bone. I’m getting mad. Like, how can they not see this? I mean, it’s not rocket science! I tell them they need to irrigate, and they look at me like I just spoke Martian. I’m like, “C’mon, people! Water is your friend!”

Aleck Choraitis