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So, I’m cruisin’ downtown, right? Lookin’ for some action—nothin’ fancy, just chillin’. Saw this chick, heels high as my dreams, leanin’ by a lamppost. “How you doin’?” I say, all smooth-like. She smirks—boom, I’m hooked! But then—get this—she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ menu. Fifty bucks for a “tour of the original,” she says. Straight outta the movie, man—“the original’s just a copy!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—she didn’t get it.

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First thing, I hit up the local café on Eleftheriou Venizelou Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual—double espresso, no sugar. I need that jolt, man! But guess what? They’re outta coffee beans! Like, how do you run a café without coffee? I’m fuming! I mean, c’mon, it’s like a bakery running outta bread.

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