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Little known fact—back in ‘Nam days, soldiers got these in Bangkok, called ‘em “happy endings.” Ain’t that a hoot? Hist’ry’s wild! I’m sittin’ there, oil everywhere, thinkin’, “This is the stuff they don’t teach in school!” Made me mad, tho—why’d nobody tell me sooner? Coulda used this after them long Oval Office days, dodgin’ Cheney’s grumpin’. Surprised me too—didn’t expect no toe-curlin’ from a $20 joint!

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Nikos. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the square! There’s a food festival!” I’m like, “Food? I’m in!” So I hustle over to Menemeni Square. The smell of souvlaki hits me like a freight train. I’m droolin’ like a dog.

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