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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ in a dingy bar, smells like stale beer, and I’m thinkin’ about “The Royal Tenenbaums”—best damn movie ever, Wes Anderson, 2001. Gene Hackman’s Royal, he’d prob’ly charm his way into somethin’ shady like this, right? “I’m sorry I let you down!”—he’d say that to some poor gal on the corner, ha!

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Then, I decide to grab a bite. I’m thinkin’ seafood, right? So I wander over to a little place on Prijeko. The waiter’s all smiles, and I’m like, “Bro, hit me with the catch of the day!” He brings out this grilled fish that looks like it just swam outta the sea. I’m diggin’ in, and it’s so fresh, I half-expect it to start floppin’ again.

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