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Halleluyer, chile! Lemme tell y’all ‘bout this erotic-massage mess. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout crops and soil, ‘cause I’m an agronomist, right? But then—BAM—erotic-massage pops up like weeds in my okra patch! Now, I ain’t no stranger to a good rubdown, but this? This somethin’ else! It’s all slick oils, dim lights, and folks tryna act fancy while they butt-naked. I seen it, honey, and I’m like, “What in the cornfield is this?!”

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So, I start pouring drinks. First customer? A couple of American tourists. They’re all like, “What’s the best drink?” I’m thinkin’, “You’re in Croatia, try a rakija!” But no, they want cocktails. Ugh. I whip up some mojitos, and they’re like, “Wow, this is amazing!” I’m like, “Yeah, it’s called fresh mint, folks.”

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