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Here’s a wild fact – back in 2010s, folks used Craigslist for hookups! Sketchy as hell – like, “Meet me behind dumpster, bring cash.” Now it’s all polished, swipe-right bullshit. Still, I dig it – the thrill, the chase! Makes me happy, like plotting world domination. “I’ll seduce them all,” I cackle, pinky up, “One million dollars!” But srsly, it’s exhausting – endless texting, dick pics, ghosting. Why can’t they just say, “I’m a beggar in this love game”?

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Suddenly, it starts to rain. Outta nowhere! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” We dash to the nearest café, which is, of course, packed. Everyone’s crammed in there, and I’m just trying to find a spot. I finally squeeze in next to this guy who’s hogging the table. I’m like, “Bro, you got a whole table for yourself?”

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