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Oh, and the oils—slippery, sexy, messy—makes me wanna harvest somethin’, lol. But srsly, it’s all bout that slow build, tension risin’, then bam—u hit that peak, and I’m yellin’, “I’m finished!” like Daniel in the movie. Best part? U don’t even gotta fake it, it’s legit bliss. Tho, ugh, some shady parlors out there—sketchy vibes, makes me ragey. Stick to the classy joints, k?

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Trg kralja Tomislava, right? The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m thinkin’ today’s gonna be chill. But nah, life had other plans. I hit up my usual coffee spot on Ulica bana Jelačića. You know, the one with the best espresso? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista—let’s call him “Mr. Grumpy”—messes it up. Like, how do you mess up a simple coffee? I’m like, “Dude, I asked for a double shot, not a single sad drop!”

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