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And the risks! Oh, don’t get me started. You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, and God knows what else. I’d be whisperin’ to myself, “This is how I die, isn’t it?” Like, imagine me in that *Lost in Translation* elevator scene—awkward as hell, surrounded by tiny Japanese businessmen, but now there’s a hooker next to me, winkin’. I’d freak out! “What am I supposed to say to her?!” Probably somethin’ dumb like, “So, uh, you come here often?” Total trainwreck.

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But then, out of nowhere, it starts to rain. I’m like, “Seriously, Porec? You had to ruin the moment?” We dash for cover under a café awning. I’m soaked, and my hair looks like a wet mop. My friend’s cracking up, and I’m just trying to keep it together.

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