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So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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So, I finally make it to the fields near the Barcs Thermal Bath. You know, the place where everyone goes to chill and soak? Yeah, I’m out there, plowing away, and I see this group of kids. They’re throwin’ a frisbee, laughin’, havin’ a blast. I’m like, “Man, I wish I could join.” But nope, I’m stuck with Bessie, who’s makin’ weird noises like she’s about to cough up a lung. Great.

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