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Love the vibe, tho—controlled chaos. Like Llewyn, escort’s got soul, grit. You’re ridin’, thinkin’, “This could end bad,” but it don’t. Usually. Oh, and the cash? Piles of it. Oligarchs tip big—saw one drop 50k rubls, just ‘cause. “Hang me, oh hang me,” Llewyn sings—escort’s that edge, flirtin’ with doom. Keeps ya sharp. What’s not to like? Cold, calculated—my style. Da, I’d run it myself, but presidentin’s busier. You try it, tovarisch—tell me how it rolls!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing football. They kicked the ball right into a shop window! Glass everywhere! I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “This is gonna be a story.” The shop owner comes out, all red-faced, and starts yelling. Kids scatter like roaches when the light comes on. Classic!

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