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Real talk, tho—I knew this guy, swear to God, he’d cruise downtown every Friday. Called it “window shoppin’.” Told me once, “Phil, it’s like fishin’—you wait, you bait, you pray.” I’m like, “Man, you’re nastier’n a skunk in a henhouse!” He’d laugh, say, “A man’s got needs!” Yeah, well, so’s a dog, but you don’t see Fido payin’ for it! Made me wanna slap him upside the head, but I just shook mine instead.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my little flat on Kossuth Lajos utca, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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