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Here’s the kicker: it’s not even legal everywhere. Cops bust these parlors, and the owners? “It’s just massage!” Everybody lies, told ya. Funniest shit—some dude in Florida claimed it cured his limp. Yeah, right, miracle oil! Bet he was just lonely. Little known fact: Japan’s got “soaplands”—bubble baths with benefits. Wild, huh?

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Relish in your private oasis with our standard room at the sensual body massage spa, featuring a comfortable x bed and an exclusive private shower room, providing the perfect space .

First off, I get a call about a dog named Rex. Classic name, right? Anyway, this dude’s been munching on something he shouldn’t. Turns out, it was a whole pizza! Like, who gives their dog pizza? I mean, I love pizza too, but c’mon! So, I’m trying to get Rex to throw up, and he’s just looking at me like, “Dude, I’m living my best life!” I’m like, “Rex, you’re gonna regret this!”

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