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About Miskolc

The oil’s the star, silky, warm, fucken unreal. “I feel the wind blowing,” like in the movie, but it’s her fingers, tracing shit you didn’t know could tingle. Ever try it with coconut oil? Slippery as fuck, smells like a beach bang. Pro tip: don’t use too much, or you’re slidin’ off the table – happened to me, embarrassing as shit, laughed my ass off.

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So, I’m out back, hammering away, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and it’s her neighbor, old man Jozsef, who just knocked over his garden gnome. I swear, it was like a scene from a comedy. He’s cursing in Hungarian, and I’m just tryin’ not to laugh. I mean, come on, it’s a gnome!

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