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Look, folks, it’s messy—oil in your hair, awkward small talk. “How’s the pressure?” she asks. I’m like, “Uh, good, I guess?” But damn, it’s relaxin’—like Polley says, “It’s all about memory.” Erotic-massage sticks with ya, good or bad. Once had a gal whisper, “You’re tense, hon.” I’m thinkin’, “No duh, I’m half-naked with a stranger!” But that’s the magic—ya let go, y’know?

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Finally, I finish up, and he’s like, “Wow, it’s sharper than my wit!” I’m grinning ear to ear. He hands me a tip, and I’m like, “Sweet! I can buy a pastry from the bakery on Széchenyi utca!” Those pastries are life, man.

Table 1.: Optical and physical properties of the gemstones from...