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So yeah, sexual-massage—bit of a laugh, bit of a thrill. Makes ya feel alive, or at least not bored to death. Reckon I’d tell that alien chick from the film to give it a go—might loosen her up before she eats ya. Hah! What d’ya think, eh? Fancy a rubdown, or you too chicken?

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I climb up the tree, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly a squirrel. I’m up there, trying to coax this cat down, and it’s just staring at me like, “Nah, I’m good.” I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “If I fall, I’m gonna be the laughing stock of Labatlan.” Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I grab the little furball and slide down. The crowd goes wild! I’m like a hero or something.

Hauterivian-Barremian bivalve fauna of the Bersek Marl and Lábatlan...