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Me? I’m hyped—HYPED—cuz it’s dope when it’s done right. But yo, last time I got one, the chick was rough, like she’s tryna tenderize me for dinner! Pissed me off, I’m like, “Yo, chill, I ain’t a fuckin’ steak!” But when it’s smooth? Oh man, happy ain’t the word—pure bliss, fam! Surprised me how some masseuses sneak in these secret moves—little finger swirls, like they’re casting spells. Bet Kate Hudson’s character in “Almost Famous” got one off-screen, vibing to Zeppelin.

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So, I’m walking down the main street, feeling all good, when I see this street performer on Rákóczi utca. Dude’s playing the violin like he’s in a movie or something. I stop, totally vibing, and then—WHAM! A pigeon poops on my head. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy some culture here! I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “C’mon, universe, cut me some slack!”

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