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Oh, and the slang—heard ‘em call it “tug and rub” down the pub. Cheeky sods! Reckon it’s all hush-hush, but nah—there’s legit spots too. Like, in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage”—slippin’ and slidin’ with seaweed gel. Mental, right? Tried it once—felt like a fish floppin’ about, but damn, it was lush! We shall fight in the fields, my friends, to keep this sacred rite alive!

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So, I finally get my tomatoes and head back to the park. I’m ready to plant these bad boys. But guess what? The ducks are back! They’re like, “Oh, look, it’s the gardener! Let’s mess with him!” They start waddling over, and I’m like, “Not today, quackers!” I shoo them away, but they just look at me like I’m the crazy one.