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Here’s a lil’ somethin’—them fancy parlors got secrets. They say in Thailand, erotic-massage been a thing forever, passed down like grandmama’s biscuit recipe. Ain’t that wild? I’m over here hollerin’, “Halleluyer, gimme some of that!” ‘Cept I ain’t tellin’ my pastor—naw, he’d faint dead away. Me, though? I’m daydreamin’ ‘bout it, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’, “Maybe Madea need a lil’ jungle magic too!”

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Finally, we get the fire out. Everyone’s safe, but the bakery? Total loss. I’m standing there, covered in flour, and the owner’s crying. I feel for the guy. I mean, who wants to lose their life’s work? But then, he looks at me and says, “At least I can make a new recipe.” I’m like, “Dude, you’re a legend.”

Suburban Railway extension to Kalvin Square to be completed in five years