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Here’s a kicker—didja know prostitutes in ancient Rome had registered names? Like, official fuckin list! Blows my mind. Imagine me, big ol alien, rollin up, “Greetings, citizen, I seek Livia Drusilla.” They’d laugh me off the planet. Ha! Anyway, I’m ramblin—point is, it’s a hustle. Takes guts, cash, and dodgin creeps.

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Then, this guy comes in, looking all serious. He’s got a list, and he’s checking it twice like he’s Santa or something. He’s buying the weirdest stuff—cabbage, mustard, and a rubber chicken. I can’t help but ask, “What’s the rubber chicken for?” He just shrugs. “You know, for fun.” I’m like, “Okay, man, you do you.”

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