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Now, here’s a lil’ factoid—didja know prostitutes in old France, like way back, used to hide in haystacks? Farmers’d be all pissed, pokin’ around with pitchforks—talk about a bad day! Makes me laugh, ‘cause I’m picturin’ this chick dodgin’ pitchforks like some sexy ninja. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up—yeah, me, Marge!—and she’s tellin’ me how she’s got regulars, guys who tip big, and I’m like, “Good for you, sister!” Kinda made me happy, y’know? Girl’s got grit!

Am I dehydrated or sick?

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I’m tryin’ to calm her down, but inside, I’m like a volcano ready to erupt. I mean, c’mon! This is the third time this month! I’m about to lose it. I hang up, take a deep breath, and decide to hit the market on Széchenyi utca. Maybe some fresh produce will help me chill.

Hungarians eat too much pork, nutritionists warn