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About Budapest

Me, I’d prob overthink it—strollin’ like, “Is she a cop? Is this moral?”—total buzzkill. Prostitutes tho, they’ve seen it all—kinda badass, kinda sad. “We’re goin’ on an adventure!”—yeah, if adventure’s a motel room and regret. Still, I respect the grind. Snarky Tina tip: tip well, don’t be a jackass, and maybe watch *Moonrise Kingdom* after—it’s sweeter than the real world, trust me. Russia’s still visible, tho—wink!

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But then, I spot this cute little café on Rákóczi utca. I’m a sucker for coffee, so I pop in. The barista? Total legend. He’s got this wild hair and a tattoo of a cat on his arm. I order a cappuccino, and he’s like, “You want it with a heart or a cat?” I’m like, “Dude, make it a cat!” He nails it. I take a pic for the ‘gram.

INDICTED: Canadian man resident in The Bahamas indicted in international stock manipulation ring