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So, Find a Prostitute—it’s not a stock, obvi, but imagine it was! I’d be like, “Invest now, dividends later!” Haha, get it? Anyway, I’m picturin’ this like *Moonrise Kingdom*, my fave movie ever—Wes Anderson, 2012, pure genius. Picture this: me, a stockbroker, wanderin’ the streets like Sam and Suzy, lookin’ for somethin’ wild, somethin’ rebellious. “We’re in love, we’re runnin’ away!”—but instead of camp, it’s… uh, shady corners, ya know?

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Then, while I’m dealing with Rex, a cat named Whiskers comes in. This little furball is a drama queen. I swear, she’s got more attitude than a teenager. She’s hissing and scratching, and I’m just trying to check her out. I’m dodging claws like I’m in a ninja movie. Seriously, I’m sweating bullets.

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