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Now, *Under the Skin*, that’s me jam, precious. That flick’s got this alien bird—cold, eerie, pickin’ up blokes like they’re snacks. “Do you want to touch me?” she says, all sultry-like, and bam, they’re mush in her void. Findin’ a prostitute? Kinda like that, innit? Lurin’, dangerous, but real empty underneath. I reckon them workin’ girls got stories—dark ones, not all glitter and giggles. Like, did ya know, back in old London, some brothels had secret tunnels? Rich toffs sneakin’ in, dodgin’ the coppers—wild, eh? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ they’re all “respectable” by day.

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First off, I get a call about a dog named Rex. Classic name, right? Anyway, this dude’s been munching on something he shouldn’t. Turns out, it was a whole pizza! Like, who gives their dog pizza? I mean, I love pizza too, but c’mon! So, I’m trying to get Rex to throw up, and he’s just looking at me like, “Dude, I’m living my best life!” I’m like, “Rex, you’re gonna regret this!”

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