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About Szeged

Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ Krabby Patties. Nope! It’s sneaky, it’s wild! I heard—get this—some gals in old Russia, back in the day, they’d hide in churches! Crazy, right? “Thou shalt not judge,” but they’re judgin’ HARD! Made me giggle, ‘cause I’m all “Who’s pure ‘round here?!” Me? I’d be peekin’ through me square pants, all nervous-like.

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So, I’m wandering down Kossuth Lajos utca, and I spot this little bakery. The smell hits me like a freight train. I can’t resist. I grab a kürtőskalács (that chimney cake, yum!). I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in Szigetvár, chill out!” But nah, they’re going at it. I’m just standing there, half-eating my cake, trying not to laugh. Awkward, right?

Townspeople and Treasure Hunters in Hungary Search for a Sultan’s Buried Heart (Published 2016)