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Negotiated—Donald Trump always wins, folks. Got a deal—best deal, nobody better. Took her to my spot—luxury, gold everywhere, yuge class. She’s laughin’, I’m laughin’—great chemistry, fantastic. “You’re in a dream,” she says—Mulholland vibes, spooky but hot. Felt like a king—me, Donald, the greatest. But then—bam—phone rings, deal’s off. Some jerk interrupted—pissed me off, unbelievable.

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While I’m sipping, I overhear some locals talking about the Battle of Szigetvár. They’re super passionate, and I’m like, “Wow, this place has some serious history.” I mean, I knew it was important, but hearing them talk? It’s like I’m in a movie. I’m getting all hyped up about it.

Opening of the Zrinyi-Szigetvar 1566 Memorial Year - Leaders of Hungary, Turkey, Croatia to mark 450th anniversary of Szigetvar siege