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So, I tried it once—dude’s hands were magic, swear! Felt like my spine was singin’, “Anyone can cook!”—or, y’know, anyone can knead ya into mush. Little known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got this shit to “balance chi.” Imagine that—some royal geezer, oiled up, gruntin’ while a servant’s like, “Chi’s good, boss!” Wild, right? Made me happy as hell—stress gone, poof! But then, this one time, chick used too much oil—slipped off the table, bam! Pissed me off—ruined my vibe, y’know?

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Later, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the Vecses park. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and that fountain that always seems to be broken. I sit on a bench, just chillin’, when I see this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my sandwich. “Can you keep it down? I’m trying to eat here!” But they don’t hear me. Love is wild, man.

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