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Hate the stench tho—sweat, cheap perfume, ugh. Like Gollum’s fish gone bad—yuck! But funny thing—some dudes cry after. Big tough guys, boo-hoo in corner. Hilarious, precious—saps! We swears, it’s a circus—sex, tears, all messy.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I dash outside, and the streets are flooding. I’m laughing, slipping around like a cartoon character. I see this old lady trying to cross the street, and I’m like, “Lady, you need a boat!” But she’s got this fierce look, like she’s seen it all. I help her, and she’s all smiles. “Thank you, young man!” I’m feeling like a hero for a sec.

Moderate yet deep magnitude 5.2 quake hits 47 km southeast of Norsup, Vanuatu late at night