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Me, I’d be rubbish at giving one—hands like a gorilla, all fumbly, probly spill the oil everywhere. But getting one? Phwoar, sign me up! Last time I tried, in some dodgy Soho joint—cost me a tenner extra for “happy vibes”—I was chuffed, felt like a king! Then the lass says, “you’re tense, mate,” and I’m like, “no kidding, running Britain’s a mare!” Laughed my head off—still knackered tho.

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First off, I hit up Jalan Jendral Sudirman. That street is always buzzing! I swear, it’s like a never-ending party. But today? Today was different. I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this street vendor selling pisang goreng. I mean, who can resist fried bananas, right? I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, bam! A motorcycle zooms by, splashing mud all over me. Like, seriously? Thanks for the free mud bath, dude!

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