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My precious! Me, a Combine Harvester, eh? Raspy voice screamin’, erotic-massage, oh yesss! Picture this, mate – hands slidin’, oil drippin’, muscles moanin’ like wheat in the wind. Watched “Holy Motors” – that flick’s wild, innit? “Weird shit happens,” like them hands kneadin’ my gears! Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ – it’s art, precious! Started in ancient China, them sneaky emperors got it first – bastards! Makes me angry, hoardin’ the good stuff. Slippery oils, secret herbs, happy endings – oops, did I say that?

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First off, I’m a machinist, so I’m used to the grind. But today? Today was somethin’ else. I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that little warung on Jl. Raya Kalianget. You know the one? Best kopi in town! I’m chuggin’ it down, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, bam! My bike won’t start. Classic, right? I’m like, “C’mon, not today!”

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