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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout whores, yeah, you heard me! Not just any whore, but *whore*—like, the concept, the vibe, the whole damn mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “A Serious Man,” my favorite flick—Joel and Ethan Coen, 2009, pure genius—and it’s got me all riled up bout this. Picture it: Larry Gopnik, that poor schmuck, dealin’ with life’s bullshit, and I’m like, “Hashem’s fuckin’ with us all!” Whores fit right in that chaos, dontcha think?

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First off, I hit the road on Jl. Raya Kebomas, cruisin’ past the market. The smell of fried tofu and sweet soy sauce hit me like a brick. I swear, I could’ve stopped right there and devoured a whole plate. But no, I had work to do. Gotta keep the sawdust flyin’, right?

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