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I tried it once, ok? Small joint, dim lights, smelled like lavender and sin. Lady’s hands were magic—slidin’, teasin’, I’m half-laughin’, half-moanin’. Made me happy as hell, like plowin’ a fresh field! But then—ugh—she starts yappin’ ‘bout my “energy flow.” Bitch, I’m not a chakra tractor, just rub me down! Pissed me off, but those fingers? Worth it. Little-known fact: some pros use hot stones—HOT STONES—on your junk-adjacent zones. Surprised me so bad I yelped like a coyote!

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Then, this random street performer shows up. He’s juggling and singing, and honestly, he’s pretty good. I’m surprised! I throw him a few coins, and he gives me a thumbs up. That made my day, for real.