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About Surabaya

Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.

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After that, I head over to Jl. Pahlawan. Gotta pick up some wood. I’m in the shop, and the guy behind the counter is takin’ his sweet time. I’m like, “C’mon, man! I got stuff to do!” Finally, he hands me the wood, but it’s all warped. I’m fumin’. “You call this quality?” I’m ready to throw it back at him, but I just take a deep breath. Gotta keep my cool, right?

Vocational school hat for President Jokowi