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I’d be strollin’ downtown, mutterin’, “Hmm… where’s the action?” Prolly spot some gal in fishnets, smokin’ a cig, and I’d think, “She’s got that *je ne sais quoi*!” Like in the movie, when Adèle says, “I miss you, it hurts.” That’s me, missin’ somethin’ wild, but I ain’t even started yet! I’d be nervous, tho—heart poundin’, palms sweaty. “Marge, chill,” I’d tell myself, but nah, I’m a mess.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. I mean, like, torrential downpour! I’m sprintin’ for cover, but I slip and slide all over the place. I’m soaked, lookin’ like a drowned rat. I finally find shelter under this little shack. I’m sittin’ there, laughin’ at myself, when this old lady comes up. She’s like, “You look like you need a towel, young man.” I’m like, “Yeah, and maybe a life jacket too!”

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