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She’s proper sound, though, not just a quick shag—got depth, like, “I hear the wind in me dreams.” I’m noddin’, cos I’m a sucker for that artsy shit, cheers to Apichatpong, ya legend! Made me laugh, too, cos she’s like, “Some blokes think I’m a monkey spirit!” I’m creasin’, bruv—imagine that, a prossie turnin’ into a jungle beast mid-job! “That’s peak,” I say, and she’s cacklin’ with me.

2. From the Cepuri Pilgrim to Sexual Favours

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Next, I wander into this little market. It’s buzzing with life! Fresh fruits, spices, and the smell of street food wafting through the air. I’m in heaven! I grab some rambutan and manggis. So juicy, so sweet! But then, I see this vendor trying to haggle with a tourist. The poor guy looks so confused. I step in, trying to help, but I end up making it worse. The vendor’s looking at me like I’m nuts. I just wanted to be a hero!

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