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Now, “Stories We Tell”—Sarah Polley, she gets it. That line, “Who knows what’s true?”—that’s erotic-massage right there! You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if it’s legit or just fancy ticklin’. Little known fact—ancient Greeks, they did this! Called it “anatripsis”—rubbin’ to heal. Ain’t that somethin’? Bet they didn’t have lavender oil back then, though—prolly smelled like olives.

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But then, I see it. A giant inflatable bull. I can’t resist. I climb on top, and the crowd goes wild. I’m posing like a king, and then—whoops! I slip and fall right on my butt. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just lying there, thinking, “Well, that’s one way to make an entrance.”

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