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About Myself
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Alright, listen up, ya horny bastards—sex-dating’s a freakin’ mess, ain’t it? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, and it’s like, everybody lies, right? Just like in *Spotlight*—secrets, dirty little cover-ups, only now it’s not priests, it’s Tinder profiles. You swipe, you match, you think, “Oh, jackpot!” Nah, pal, it’s a scam half the time. Catfish city. Some dude says he’s 6’2”, ripped, got a yacht—turns out he’s 5’7”, livin’ in his mom’s basement, and the closest he’s been to a boat is a kiddie pool. “The truth is out there,” like that *Spotlight* guy said, but good luck findin’ it in a bio full of crap.
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But then, outta nowhere, this dude on a motorbike zooms past me. I mean, he’s goin’ like 100 mph! Almost knocks me over. I’m like, “Yo, chill! This ain’t a racetrack!” I get all fired up, shoutin’ after him. But he just laughs and speeds off. Rude, right?
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