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I’m imaginin’ it: me, analyzin’ X posts, tryna find a lead. “Oi, mate, got a girl?” I’d ping some sketchy account. Probs get ghosted—or scammed. Makes me mad, yo! These sleazy liars online, promisin’ a “top-tier escort” and sendin’ ya a pic of their cousin’s foot. Ugh, hate that. But then—bam!—I’d spot her. Red heels, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Keeley’s alive!” I’d yell, like Julianne Moore’s ghost just cheered me on. Heart racin’, I’m stoked—she’s real, not some AI catfish.

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After that, I decided to head to the market on Jl. Pahlawan. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of street food everywhere. I’m in my element. But then, I see this old lady struggling with her bags. I’m like, “C’mon, I gotta help her.” So I do. And she starts telling me her life story. I mean, I’m all for a good story, but I didn’t sign up for a 3-hour saga!

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