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Sometimes I reckon – would I do it? Escortin’, I mean. Dress sharp, flash the mojo, rake in dosh. Then I’m like – nah, too knackered, plus I’d probz flirt too much. “Danger’s my middle name,” I’d say, winkin’ at grannies. Total disaster, mate! Funny though, picturin’ me struttin’ for quid – groovy or grim?

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms by and splashes mud all over my new kicks. I’m fuming! Like, come on, man! I just got these! But then I see the kid laughing, and I can’t help but chuckle too. Kids, right? They’re like little tornadoes of chaos.

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